In this way, splitting magnifies the problem, making it seem far worse. They may respond by blaming them, causing the splitting defense to destroy relationships. Once their partner does something that brings up their feelings, they usually see them in the worst possible way. People usually see their partner in the best possible light during the honeymoon stage of the relationship. Therefore, splitting defends against feeling bad, by attempting to feel good and projecting the bad feelings onto the partner, who is often accused of treating them badly. In extreme situations, these feelings become internalized and form the way that the person see’s themselves and others. The feelings get pushed down, out of one’s awareness because they are painful. Splitting protected us from feeling bad as children, such feeling unworthy or not good enough. It becomes difficult to see any good in your partner if you are putting your past wounds onto them and making them the person who hurt you. When you believe that your partner is causing you pain, the relationship becomes unbearable. When their partner stirs up underlying feelings, their partner is blamed for how they feel, becoming all bad. In this moment the person with BPD see’s everything as bad in the triggering person as if they caused them to feel this way. Being late triggers past wounds of feeling unwanted, which becomes so overwhelming that they need to be projected outside of themselves. Whereas if your partner arrives late, he is seen as uncaring or rejecting. When you think that you’re treated well in your relationship you feel in love. The BPD splitting defense mechanism prevents them from seeing both the good and bad aspects of a partner at the given time. They may not realise that their feelings belong within them, so they think that their partner is responsible for hurting them and causing them to feel this way. Often, the borderline person is unaware of how they feel when their feelings surface, so they displace their feelings onto others as causing them. Is the Borderline splitting destroying your relationship?īPD splitting ruins relationships since the person can misconstrue the behaviours of others when their feelings are brought up in the relationship. Signs that BPD splitting is sabotaging your relationship.Is the Borderline splitting destroying your relationship?.One moment they feel loved and the next they feel unwanted or abandoned.īorderline Personality Disorder splitting can destroy your relationship by inflicting pain on the partner One moment they feel good and the next they feel low. When a BPD person is splitting, they may distort how they see things. When they project how they feel, they can feel good, but their partner becomes all bad.ĭo you feel pain, and believe that your partner is to blame for how you feel?īPD splitting destroys relationships when the person puts their bad feelings onto their partner, because these feelings are so overwhelming and they cannot tolerate them. This is because the person with BPD cannot tolerate the bad feelings within themselves and needs to discharge them in an attempt to feel good about themselves. In this way, they project their bad feelings onto their partner who is blamed for how they feel. Instead of feeling bad about themselves, their partner is considered bad for causing their feelings. BPD splitting destroy relationships in the way that the person defends against bad feelings within themselves so that they can feel good about themselves. BPD splitting destroys relationships by causing the person to distort how they see themselves and others.īPD relationships shift between highs and lows. This also causes them to view their partner in either the best possible light or the worst possible light. Those diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) use the defense mechanism splitting, which causes them to feel extremes of either good or bad. How does BPD splitting destroy relationships? Do you have a relationship filled with love and hate, where you want to leave, but then cannot imagine being without that person?Īre you exhausted from leaving and coming back? It can be draining to deal with the ups and downs.ĭo you hold onto hurt and cannot let it go? Do you erupt into anger easily?
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